Long time no see. The reason being, these past few weeks I’ve been busy battling both a sinus infection and a severe allergic reaction to Amoxicillin. After about 5 days after my trip to the ER, I had given up. I thought “what’s the use in trying anymore, I’m never going to get better”. Now in order to justify my dramatic approach, you must first understand the state I was in. I had blisters all over my lips, mouth, and throat. Because of those blisters, my throat had swelled up to the point where it was even hard to breathe, let alone swallow any food or drink. As if that wasn’t enough, I had this body-shaking cough, and couldn’t breathe through either of my nostrils. I was in bad shape. All I did was lay in bed all day, thinking about all the stuff I was missing out on (it was Spring Break mind you), and all the work I would have to make up once I recovered. Occasionally, I’d pick up a book, or watch an episode of The Walking Dead, but other than that, I’d just sit there doing nothing productive. Kind of like a zombie (no pun intended). It wasn’t until I finally decided to change my attitude that I began to heal. This dramatic change actually came about from a YouTube video, believe it or not. This girl was sitting alone in her room, jamming out to this new album by an artist named Modsun. I immediately looked him up on Spotify, and from there I took in his entire album in one sitting. The words he spoke were inspiring. They made me see that the only way I was going to get better was if I started acting like I was. Fast forward about a week later, and here I am, with just a few minor scars on my lip left to show my battle.
Like every other significant event in my life, this happened for a reason. Before I got sick, I was really beginning to lose my faith. It seemed to just be slowly drifting away from me, as if there was nothing I could do about. In the beginning stages, I couldn’t help but think, “why me?”. Out of all the girls in the world, why did I have to contract an infection on my lips when I wasn’t even planning on doing anything bad over break. But then my mom told me something that would make me forever reanalyze my struggles. She told me, “All this is, is a test from God to help you with your patience”. And she was right! The reason I was so miserable is because I so desperately wanted to force my self to heal, rather than sit back and let God heal me naturally, with time. Quite ironically, that night when I was reading the Quran, I read a verse about patience. I believe it stated, “And be steadfast in patience; for verily Allah will not suffer the reward of the righteous to perish.”
[11: Hud-115], Patience has always been something I struggled with. Even as I sit here now, I’m anxious to finish writing so I can move on to daydreaming about Paul Walker.
Moral of the story is, in the future, whenever you’re in times of struggle remember to always have faith and look beyond the pain to find a deeper meaning and reasoning.